Losing myself.

I am another person when I am at work. I am arrogant and rebellious and always frowning and everything that is not usually me when I face people in another setting. It seems that my work is the perfect set-up to bring out the monster in me and it's an uphill battle to fight this 'natural' reaction. I have to quadruple my efforts to be nice and not react harshly and smile and stuff. It is tiring.

I feel stuck. I feel that I have to grin and bear it becuase if I resign I have nowhere to go. I cannot stay in Singapore if I don't have a job. That's why I want my PR to be approved soon. =( Then I can say bye bye to this job, and hopefully find one which suits the real ME.

I need a break.

Tuesday night I was browsing through templates of a resignation letter and was nearly about to submit one on Wednesday. But my rational mind got the better of me so I was able to hold it.

I have to wait.

I have no safety net yet.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED. I hate my job.=(